I’m sad to say that today’s ultrasound did not give me good news. The baby has not grown since the last ultrasound, and there was no heartbeat. I’m an having another miscarriage.
I will not dwell on the sadness. Instead I have been praising God for His love, His comfort, and all of the blessings He has already given me. I have a beautiful daughter. A wonderful husband. We are healthy, and happy.
God IS GOOD ♥
I acknowledge that God is sovereign, and all-knowing. A sparrow does not fall to the ground without His consent (Matthew 10:29-30), a hair does not leave my head without His noting. He knows. And I can fully trust that for some reason which I may never understand, He has lovingly allowed this occurrence. He is Good. Trustworthy. Wise.
I’m thankful. I will meditate on the excellence of His blessings in my life. There are too many to count. The blessings that I see, and those that I don’t. My husband, and daughter that He has already gifted me. My heart overflows with thanksgiving for it all.
I will be compassionate. I can offer compassion to others who are experiencing the hardship and heartache of miscarriage, and can point the suffering to the God of all Comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
I will forge ahead. It will take time. My baby will not be forgotten as my life continues. He will forever be embedded in my heart, and in God’s Heaven. I need to continue running the race towards the prize that God has called us heavenward (Philippians 3:13-14).
I will grow in the Lord. There are lessons here to be learned. Lessons of faith and trust that God intended for me to learn through my grief. I will take time to think, ponder, and pray. I will tune in to what He is doing in my heart, and what His will for me is.
I have hope. There is hope. My hope is in the Lord, (Psalm 42:11), in His promises to me, and in His Word.
I have Joy. The joy of the Lord is my strength. He has been ever-faithful every step of the way. He has not left or forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5). Even in the midst of this… I will rejoice.
One day, I will see my babies in Heaven. For now I will laugh and play with my baby girl and continue thanking God every single day for the rest of my life for giving Aaron and me such a funny, happy, beautiful daughter.
Thank you, Lord, for my life, and Your love. Wherever you lead, I will follow ♥
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