8 more days…

Only 8 more days to go.  8 more full days with my first born. 8 more lazy days of snuggling, playing, and chatting about whatever she likes… all day long.

In 8 more days, she won’t be home at 8am. No more random hugs and kisses throughout the day. No more whispers in my ear during nap time, “Mommy, I love you.” In 8 more days, the girl that has never left my side since birth will be gone, for 7 very long hours, Monday through Friday. 

35 hours a week, she will be gone.  35 hours of chatting, playing, and new experiences, I won’t be there to witness.  It feels like 5 years of “first times” with her are just not enough.  Now, she will have countless “first times” without me… from this point on… in just 8 more days.

Her box of school supplies are in her room on the floor. Glaring at me. Telling me, “This is just a small view of what she will be doing, without you.”  Her school uniform is hanging in her closet, new shoes, new backpack and lunch bag. Everything is ready… except me.

I know I’ll be staring at the clock during her first day in school, but the clock is already ticking for me. Awake or asleep, I’m counting down the days even in my dreams.

Well it’s Faith’s time now, whether I’m ready or not.   Maybe I’ll cry after I drop her off.  Maybe I won’t.  Maybe I’ll be in too much shock to relieve myself with tears.  Maybe I’ll be too concerned about how she is doing, every minute, every hour, until I get to pick her up again.  Or maybe, she will face her first day with a smile, and go through those doors with excitement that will soothe my heart and keep me happy and calm for the first 7 hours of the rest of her life.  I’ll find out in 8 more days.

 

 

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